i wish starbucks made bloody marys
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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