They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize