saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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