He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize