He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize