I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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