I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize