I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize