my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize