Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
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I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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