Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Little spoons don't ask big questions
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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