careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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