Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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