I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize