Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize