So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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