you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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