I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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