i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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