And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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