just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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