Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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