Moan for me like Helen Keller
I smell stomach acid.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
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