you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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