I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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