I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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