You're my little dorito
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize