Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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