return my video game
Acid is not a monday night drug
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize