I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize