i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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