I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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