He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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