and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
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i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
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I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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