You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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