Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
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Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
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We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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