hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize