Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize