I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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