So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize