I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize