see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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