dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize