Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
