Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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