...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize