Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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