You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
Another day, another engagement, another cat
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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