you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize