I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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