Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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