you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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